My mother’s mother

It is hard to imagine my 93 year old mother as a daughter but that she was.  When her mother died when my mom was 72 and I was 39 I witnessed her morning just like any daughter would. I never saw my mom like that. She was always so strong, stoic to me.  As a female doctor in the 1942’s my mom lived in a man’s world and she had to be strong and not show emotions.

Think back to a time long ago, imagine my grandmother marching for a woman’s right to vote. Yes she was a suffragette.  From a family with 6 children, she was the one with the most business sense and helped her brother, an inventor, run a business. When my mother was in high school my grandmother went back to school to become a teacher and ultimately got her PhD in Psychology. That was in the 1930s, pretty rare for a woman. She practiced as a clinical psychologist until the age of 91.  Well according to my mother she was quite a character as a mother, not easy to be with.  She had her rules and that was it. As we look back now they were pretty smart rules.  She insisted on hands being washed well. You had to dress warmly and where boots. Get plenty of sleep.  As studying was on the top of the list.  So is it surprising that both my mother and her sister became doctors in the 1940’s – nope.  My aunt and mother will forever be grateful to NYU for accepting them because the other well known universities in NYC did not accept women to medical school back then. If my grandmother thought someone was being lazy then it was all over, she was done with you and let you know in no uncertain words. Of course, eating healthy fruits and vegetables, lean meats and few sugar desserts had to be followed.  As I said, she was tough but all her rules, today would be the norm and considered well balanced.  As the generations have continued, each mother has softened a bit, Grandmother real tough and definitely not warm and fuzzy, my mother a little less tough (not much) and also not warm and fuzzy. I would consider my self warm and fuzzy, I just loved raising my children and had the privilege of being home with them for 10 years before I went back to work.  Time will tell what kind of mother my daughter will be……

Let’s get started

So I was introduced to my daughter with the words “oh she’s just beautiful”. That was seconds after her birth and I was frantically asking  is “it”  (the baby) healthy.  Having had a wonderful father/daughter relationship with my father, I wanted that for my husband. And there she was. What a joy to have a daughter after having a son already. Back then, I didn’t realize just how wonderful a daughter can be.  Decades later, I continue to be reminded every day how amazing that bond and relationship can be.  And what is so nice, is that I believe my daughter agrees with me.  Ok, I know what you are saying – come on, everything isn’t that rosy and wonderful. Sure it takes work and I have been known to say “you must have just taken your nasty pill!”  We have had some blow outs, but when they are over, we both know they are over and we understand that that deep bond of love and respect will always be there. We don’t hold on to those hurt words or feelings.

I can’t finish my first post without referring to myself as a daughter also. That I am. My mother is in her nineties and I have that longevity to thank her and her family for.  The strength I see in my daughter, I know comes from my grandmother, my mother and me to her. I never knew my great great grand mother but I do know that if she raised my grandmother she must have been amazing for her time because my grandmother was one of a kind. I will have plenty to say about my grandmother as posts go on. In the early 1930’s she went back to school and became an English teacher and then earned a PhD in Psychology shortly after that. We are a formidable line of women. We are smart, educated, outspoken, capable and as the metaphor describes, if the front door doesn’t work – we can always find a way in through a side or back door. To us no isn’t the final say, it just means you have to work a little harder to make it happen. My mother was one of 3 women in her graduation class from medical school in 1942. Keep in mind that was pre  antibiotics, the world of medicine was a very different place back then from what it is today.  Have I had a journey with my mom over these many decades.  Let’s leave that for tomorrow and tomorrow.  As this blog will tell, it’s all about love, life, new adventures and communication in every form it takes. Unconditional love and the joy of learning from each other.